in my 7 days in isolation on magnificent cumberland island, georgia, abiding in the epic live oak jungle amidst wild horses and daily thunderstorms, i managed to compose a short poem. i have not written many poems, but i think future generations will regard this one as my masterpiece.
it does not sum up my experience as a whole, and it is not even based on a true story, but it is based on very real fears i developed while picking parasitic arthropods out of my bed and crushing them with my thumbnail. without further ado, the verse:
i got a tick on my prick
and my balls dropped off, sick.
thank you. now i have heard claims that it is difficult to make your fortune as a poet, but despite this blog being the first publication of the poem, i am already in negotiations with the fox network to expand it into an episode of house, guest-starring seann william scott.
